Now let me elaborate this in great details so perhaps you'll help me out??

Andy..this very stupid Andy messaged me on the 1st day of Chinese New Year and halfway trhough, our friend got pissed, insisting that he don get why i am waiting for Paddles when he has declared he "sayang" and "love" to me. Can't he see that love can't be forced to order? True, it can be nurtured but i obviously need to find someone, someone whom i can fit the bills to. And our friend, ended up scolding me. Now what the fuck did i do? Just by rejecting someone so poiltely and i even did it as painlessly as i could...i got screwed like dat.

Pathetic.

I NO longer get boys....and for goodness bloody sake, i only met the fella once! And he can go on saying all these crazy mushy things to me. If it had been someone i am heads over heels gaga over, i would have reciprocated in the same manner without being asked to. But it turned out to be...Andy. Haiz.......if it was Paddles....the answer would be the most obvious, that is without me having to open my mouth at all...coz it's from my heart.

Just my damnest luck.

Nice girls always finish last.......i can change and be as rebellious as i can..but whom am i proving this fact to??

Being forced by someone to go steady with them is wrong kan???

And i should stay away from this guy kan???

Or will i get a more horrible name hereafter?



How can i not ever love Ah2?? This girl always calms me down and put sense into my head. Like when i told her i can't find a replica of 'HIM' (yeah..you..) anywhere, she always manages to come up with something soothing to my ears. Haiz....And so, she came over to my work place and we headed home together yesterday. But before that, just hanged out eating our happy McD meals till all the shops there were closed. =D




And i'm heading off to her crib right after work for a movie marathon session later- IT, Date Movie, Epic Movie, The House Bunny and Don't Mess with The Zohan.....ooh...confirm lepak slack. Yay!!

And the other good side, i am addicted to something new finally...and it's TAGGED. Haha...Kinda cool kan..less complicating than My Space or that stupid Facebook. Never been a fan of it coz there's like a 1000 gadgets, widgets and programs to upload each time someone sends you something. So super tak paham and so the super leceh.

Senang2..add lah me ye? babyjc_filan@yahoo.com
haha...

Hmm...mundane is more than a common usage fit for my daily dull life. What else??

TO ADEK TASHA - la...winnie tu anggap cam advanced giler nyer birthday present lah..or happy-get-to-know-you present?? Hmm...and ice cream eh?? Ok2 akak byeh blanjer...but next time adek blanjer akak pulak lah ye?? XD birthday akak in 2 months time...go figure...hahah

And i'm glad you are wise and matured enough thinking things through. Sometimes in life, we are tested to see how far we can stretch, even things within our capabilities. So it's good everything is fine now. As i was just telling Fitriza that you are her look so similar at times..especially that one time when you had that china doll hairdo....takmo pikir yang bukan2 agik and don be freaking paranoid. Banyak orang sayang awak tu wei...

So before i sign off, GONG XI FA CAI!!

(it's 1 year after my break up..and i managed to forget that fucker finally.......i moved on....i'm happy.....had a crush on someone, i lived and smiled.............and for now, i dunno if it's gonna be you someday.........hmmm.....anyways, thank god.)



double cheh-nez...ade ke i tot orang tu da ok with me...sampaikan ader link pat blog dier sumer skali makcik kiter yg letak kan.....i perah-santan keseorangan...hahah..but never moind...saper kate orang berkawan kene jumpe atau ber-sms hari2 kan? dats strictly meant for boypren galpren..*bluek*

thank god i'm one of the many super patient people around....and i am blessed with a forgiving heart. =) I forget things so easily that i don't even remember saying them or doing them in the first place. Tsk3...

I found this from My Hot Comments....


MyHotComments



MyHotComments


Haiz.....super true and makes sense doesn't it?? I should live up to things like that...coz i realised, at times my brain do seems like the size of a pea..without thinking, i end up doing the silliest and most unthinkable things. Hmmm...actions speaks louder than words still..

And btw, i feel like saying this to all the boys out there....ahhahah..





Being the book worm i am, I can't put this book down ever since i bought it on Wednesday..I chucked the other one at home already...too draggy lah...haha..and now i am halfway through the book already..super fast kan?? It's just exhilarating....my heart beats at every page i turn...

Ooohhh....






I wanna be like Bella Swan too.....though i do find that me and her are quite the same sometimes....haha..geek...clumsy+klutzy, outta love......etc....




Hey peepz.. . If you happen to read this in Multiply or Blogger.. .

Vote for Salamah!!~.. . She's Ah2's boyfriend's mom.. .

Please vote her for this "My Favourite Chairman Contest"..

How?

Just click on the link below.. .

http://www.wincouncil.org.sg/whos_who/view/north_east

Your kind vote will be greatly appreciated.. . =)

Thankz y'all.. .

So semangat Ah2...but since ur my bestie....haha..tolong you spread the word....

By the way, got my exams results this morning. And i'm soooooooooooooo00000 relieved. Thank god i passed all 3 subjects. No doubt it's just a pass...but i just feel as if a burden have been lifted in a way. Haha...and i thank Paddles.......for helping me out with that International Business assignment i did last year in November/December...the one on Procter and Gamble....the one on Pringles. Thanks for wasting your time on the phone with me quoting me all the various Pringles flavours in different countries and so forth.

Thanks eh.....i had promised you a treat.....but oh well....things and people change...and it should be for the better i suppose. Time doesn't permit me to doing this.........

On a slightly better note, i am able to eat a bit...my work place is gonna be closed for 3 days starting Monday. Dunno where to go...but Ah2 has said something about Starbucks (double yays!!) and Mei2 has urged me to tag along to watch some Hong Kong movie at the cinema on Monday. For the remaining 2 days, i shall take a long nap...and wonder into space a bit. Haha....

I saw Sunshine's post. Hmm...let's just say, i did that before too. Foolishly, i played a game. A game without rules, barriers and boundaries. Thing was, i got carried away too fast, lost in the own game i started first, lost in my own world without being able to distinguish reality and fantasy. And it all ended before i knew it.........all too soon before i can even mend it. Nothing started nor anything came out of it. But if could honestly have the power or any form of ability to turn back time, i just want to remain his best friend, the way i was with him. It's so much hassle free minus the complications and frustrations daily. And for now, all i can think of is "hmmmmm.."

And then i saw Tasha's post. Haha....young love often gets lost in a 1000 ways..but i have had soo many school friends who have been with their loved ones since they were 16 and freaking hell, they got married and produced many of their mini-mes in the end!!! So mende gini memang tkbleh cakap. I guess relationship takes a LOT of hard work. It's like exercise, minus the sweat in a way...haha

Here's the scoop on me. I was in a realtionship for 4years with this fucked up asshole and nothing came out of it in the end. Many promises but all broken and unkept. All i got of of it was a severe broken heart and i never look at anyone the same way again. We had plans, plans to settle down obviously..plans to have our own Brady Bunch, a house probably in between of Singapore where we can get to both our parents houses easily..so many memories then..now vague of course and a wound, only which a scar have been left behind but unseen to the world. *shrugs* I dunno....so i concluded....it's just not my luck....not my time yet. (Even after the other one silently disappeared..............)

Why bother to look if you keep bumping into the wrong ones instead of Mr Right?? =)

So for now, i wanna try smiling back to the world...maybe the world will say hello in respond back to me huh?? Coz i am alien afterall.



IT WAs A sEAFOOD sKY WITH AH2 YEsTERDAY NITE....MuACKs..I sAYANG YOu sELALu AH.....HAHA...pOMpAN2 BODOH KITER JADIK sEMALAM EH...IsH...BIBMBOTIC sEI....AND MY GOD....I AM pEKAK..HAHA..KOpITIAM JADI pING pONG




Hahaha....honestly speaking i am a bit too late for this trend...but since i da cakap..budak degil ni buat jugak!!!! Yupz..i am fucking stubborn and i NEVER listen!!!




Before pics...posing ngan sis..i'm the elder one k...geesh...



hahaa...action ah...


ape ni..baru perasan samer pose..hahaahahhaa...kentalan kan??


Thank god i have SUPER DUPER cool parents in the whole widest world....bising for 5 minutes pas tu tanyer akit tak....hahah...


Psycho sis accompanied me to Heerens semalam and yay!!!! Buat jugak!!! Klakar nak mati sei the whole process...at first mcm nak muntak, nak berak pon ader..then nak pengsan terlalu excited pon ader. XD But oh well, the whole process took less than 3secs and there i was drooling like a 6month old baby. Sungguh memalukan..tak sakit pon....terkejot adelah. So next month, navel piercing, here i come!!! =) it's ONLY freaking $35!!!! Murah kan????? Go there to Heerens!! The girl who did my piercing was SUPER nice!! So patient and so SUPER tolerant of my kanchong antics!! So Tasha, meh lah kiter g samer2.....nak tak???



Today somehow i am finding it soooo the very susah nak makan. Wondering what have i been eating?? Errr....mmm.....4 bottles of air bunga and struggling to eat the 7-11 mashed potatoes now. Stupid tongue somehow keeps thinking the barbell is food and i keep trying to swollow it!!! God gracious....hmmm....so new to this, so obviously i'm acting like super jakon again. Haha....



*pls give me tips on how to survive this crap can??



Anyways, please remind me how old am i?? =) I was at Causeway Point yesterday as usual and whilst mum was busy looking for fork and spoon set at level 3 (isit??? or 2???), i decided to act super kiddish with Momo and hence decided to waste money and i got myself a Magic Diary! Haha...so the da basi thing but it's super cheap and i couldn't resist buying it! Furthermore, it's PINK! ($6 murah kan???)



Question is, what can i do with it?? Hmmmm........


- In case my handphone dies, i can always open this 'diary' and search for numbers which i have stored rather than taking out scraps of papers from my wallet or an address/telephone book.

-There's a calculator function....not that i need it much...but for quick calculating while at the supermarket perhaps??? Manerlah tau handphone mati agik....kan3??

-Boleh plan my next blog entry on the memo section


-Decorate it whith crystals...as you can see what i have done with the D.

Haha...best jugak pe....Other than that...my life is mundane as always.


More pics. (dunno why pics jadik kecik gini plak...)



This is the sweater i'm knitting. Ader skulls... but lom abes....left with the hands section and i can wear after that...



But how can i ever finish knitting when Bob always ends up playing with my yarns and entangling them all up??? Haiz....


Oh you know......it just came to my occurence that there are a few things i won't be saying to any guys this year........3 guys offered to fetch me from work on Monday and i rejected all 3 coz plainly, i was just not interested. It takes a lot of work to like some1..be it someone you just met or someone...............................who'll always be there lingering in your mind....


1) I like you.....
2) You're special
3) I miss you....
4) You're different from the rest...
5) I HEART you


If i were to look for anyone else (which i doubt....) i will look for someone in the likes of you.......yeah..you over there. You know who you are. Not you exactly coz you won't be here ever......just someone who will be like you. Nuff said. I am stubborn..kan?


Well, for now, i shall go and try my hardest to swollow my remaining mashed potatoes..hahha...And by the way, hello to new girlfriend, Sunshine. *waves* Kiter luper namer awak lah.....



So semalam tak jadi makan Thai Xpress coz the place was freaking crowded and why the heck should i be paying that amount of money if i have to eat outside?? Kan3?? Takde air-con, melele peloh i...haha..somemore pedas agik..tak payah udah..so in the end, me and Mei2 ended up at our 2nd beloved place of eatery choice, Swensen. Haha...you





I'm at work despite being off today...fetching my colleague..getting ready to head down to Holland V...nak gi mamam Thai Xpress oi..yay!!!

Photos will be updated. =)



ARGHGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Can't help that. Here i am at a cyber cafe, alone and very frustrated+sad!!!

Can you now tell me why i hate my siblings?

I opened my laptop yesterday and to my HORROR, all my folders, school stuffs, pics, all Momo's stuffs have been DELETED!!!! The cruel pest who did this must have the inner most jealousy towards me and him. Boo..what the fuck did i do man??? Haiz.....nangis la ape lagik...........

i feel like running amok...but buat apeh kan??? My mum laughed at me yesterday and i soooo dunno who to complain to except to you sweethearts reading this. Geesh....Unfair!!!! And to vent my anger, i went jogging this morning. Yupz, you read that one correctly right. I ran and ran all the way till Bukit Timah despite my asthma. Nasib tak mampos separoh jalan...pump pon tak bawak. Booo!!!!! Balik da tercungap2 mcm anak ikan.... =(

And ish..i'm still angry!!! Tomorow gi pierce ah....this year, i'll try very hard not to self harm, instead, go with the flow of venting it on other things such as running malam2 buta ke...or go do more piercings until i dunno where to pierce. Knit back my miserable halfway done knits or at least, do my MOST fave thing in the whole wide world-SHOPPING. Hmmm....

Dunno..see how. No one's guiding me apart from myself. So nak katekan, no sense of direction pon ader sekarang. I am like a map without a compass kan?? Isit?? Entah..

PS/I'M STILL FUCKING ANGRY!!!! HAIZ...



Ni lah kesayangan ku...my guinea pig for real trying on my knitted beanie. Haha...Cute kan?? Kan3??? Thing is he passed away last year....Haiz.... =(







Wah...u all responded to my post. Gerek sei...hahah..anyways, all da solved pon. Sweetheart Tasha knows what shit she is getting herself into and i trust that she is that damn smart to know what is going on. Since that is what she wants, i fully support her. Afterall, they are all school friends (I think) and they would have jolly well set their barriers up right. If she falls, (which i doubt..haha), at least she learns from this mistake/experience. This girl, all i can say is, rugged abes lah...Opposite me, princessy and fairy-taley. =)




For me, hmm...it's always a pleasure to forgive people and indeed i have learnt that over the past year. (tol tak Seri?? peyok k???) Budak2 sekarang..tak paham ngn dorang...i stick safely to my beliefs. That is- STAY AWAY FROM THE EXES. Hence, that could be the reason why i won't date or stead with people i know belonging to the same circle. Kan macam bola, being passed around?? I dread that thought seriously.



And while i'm at it, a guy who fucks around gets a name, a reputation, a glorious crown, a title like a, PLAYER/PLAYBOY maybe. When a girl does the same thing, she will be called a slut straight to the face. How unfair is that? A few years ago i blogged about the same exact thing. Boys VS Girls topic. And it is so so true. The world probably haven't embrace the fact that girls can equally do the same thing as guys can too in this era. Maybe we should take our hats of to millenium girls like Madonna, Hillary Clinton and Christina Aguilera to name just a few. Why are girls still being perceived as a weaker gender? Just because we give birth, stay at home and clean up chores doesn't mean we are dumb. Just because we cry, we are labelled as sensitive, just because we can't lift heavy things like the men does, we are look down upon? Maybe i should conclude this theory as egoism. A guy will always choose his friends over his girlfriend because they don't wanna be booed at or teased at. Or worst, an insult to them, "Ko dengar ckp matair ko?? Weak ah...."

Go listen to Christina Aguilera's "Can't Hold us Down". Super song to perk me up when i'm pissed off. The lyrics to it are exactly what i meant to convey in this post. Hmm...



Anyways, lesson in class was super fun yesterday. We learnt about views and perceptions of others and I came across this model.





It's called the Johari Window. It's a model to determine which group you belongs to based on your personality. Very interesting so i thought i'd share it with u all. Try playing with the grids and see which category you fall under?





Other than that, i sempat belikan my dearest Momo his new pair of shoes.




Cute kan?? It's a steal at only $30!!! Half the actual price!! Can't wait to have babies someday. Macam best doll them up. Haha...other than that, things have been perky and rather alright. I am fine again. Hopefully, this year will be a blast, unlike last year. Oh so DAMNED.

Haha...I think, this year, i don't wanna think about relationships and being all emo. I know no1 likes that but i'll try. Paddles made me realised this. One should always be contented with one's lot and i should smile and play clown to the world like how i used to. Being single doesn't mean end of the world. But i miss the company of having tons of friends around me....laughing and cracking jokes. The worst part of it is, i miss Paddles. Not because of his constant nags or "those things we did" but it is, his daily SMS which never fail to crack me up that i yearn for so badly now. (Eg; those melamine sound for the funeral wake woke him up one morning...haha) And i miss the way he would always say, "Skali kan" or "Konon-konon kan" and all of his never ending stupid stories and endless imaginative thinking. Haiz......if i'm allowed to turn back time, i would take him as my friend back and nothing else to it. Not platonic and not having the intentions of cozying up to him ever. I just solely means friendship this time round. Coz i feel, without his guidance, i am a bit lost. Hmmm.....Dead serious. Cross my heart.



*PS/ I want to forget YOU, if possible...but how can i, when i see those stupid black Hondas zooming past me daily, Pizza Hut signage and worst, the stupid Ironman DVD/VCD adverts on busses? Maybe we got off to the wrong start. After long pondering this few weeks, i realised that you are more of keeper for friend rather than what i have intended much earlier. I found my best friend but i let him go...............................



Hmmm...this will be a respond to my dear Tasha post.

This sweetheart, in case you dunno, decided to make peace with her boyfriend's ex-gf. Yupz. You read that right. Not many are able to do that. And honestly, i am surprised by her actions! If it was me, i would be feeling awkward to the max, let alone hanging out and sitting down over coffee or dinner, eating desserts, spoon-feeding each other. I'll probably have a bitch fit in the midst of our conversation and kill that women for god-know-what-reasons. I can't do it mainly because:

1) Admit it. I just have a damn good imagination! Haha..i 'll start imagining super duper weird freaking assholic things they did together before i appeared. (including snogging bits right down to the sex bits. Eg: fave positions etc....hahaha..i giler kan??)

2) Even though, calm as i may seem to be in their presence, once i'm alone with the boyfriend, i'll probably ask a thousand..no millions of questions, for the sake of my current assurance..and somehow or another, i'm very damn sure it'll lead to an aimless argument. (i'd smack my boyfriend or bite him hereafter..haha)

3) I'm just an insecure girl. Why the heck would i wanna make peace with my boyfriend's ex-gf?? Though, one would say, making peace and learning to forgive and forget would make an individual a happy soul. But still??? Hmmm...

So there..some of my main reasons. Takkan lah the ex-gf have no feelings when she sees her ex move on happily with his current squeeze?? Girls are different i would say. Either way or another, we will always have that jealous feelings buried deep down in our heart no matter how safe we might be facing currently. This is all mainly from past experience. Conclusion, girls will always be girls and babe, don't play with fire unnecessarily.

Agree everyone?? So girls,
WOULD YOU KEEP PEACE WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND EX???
I want to see if Tasha here is wrong here...haha...

**Sikit2 cukup lah.....kawan2 pon gitu jer....OK??? But if you're doing it for Mr Boyfriend's sake or that stupid Ironman of yours..just coz dorang sume members....hmmm.....then i totally salute you to the max lah...still....play safe aight?? =) **



Ohkay..i so suck at these. Just a few days ago, i told everyone that i wanna stop updating this silly blog of mine...but thing is, i am too free now and i always have a love-hate relationship with the entries i'm posting. DUH! Anyways, i've changed my layouts again(!) coz i just figured that if there's no pink, there's no ShaSha like to the blog. So now, i promise i won't change to another layout till the next few months or so. *smiles*







I shall cease the entries for this blog for the time being....there's nothing much to update and i should start focussing on much more important things like myself. It's the new year afterall. I should smile no matter what they say. I don't wish for a certain asshole over there to say i ni too emo....so what right? It's my fucking blog and i'm emo because of certain shit that occured due to my carelessness. If thinking and wondering, pondering and being depressed is emo to you, then don't read. I beg you. Thanks.

What a small Singapore indeed it proved to be when sister's boyfriend turned out to know Paddles. I really dunno whether to be utterly shocked or just smile blankly at her when she told me that and all those crappy bits and shits about him. And the other day turns out equally pathetic. This Andy was playing the swing with me and he decided to ask dat certain asshole why he's no longer in touch with me....so thanks, now i know i'm too emo. And i didn't know i can be passed around like a ball. "Bes aku boleh kua ngn dier ah..." And your response, "Boleh...."

So admit it for once...i am your fucking past time right from the start. True, i have no rights to be angry with you coz i allowed for all that to happen...but which dickhead in the world wouldn't think, "why on Earth is this girl willing to spend the time with me??"

Initially i regret not knowing you much earlier..but after i saw all of what you messaged Andy....i think i regret knowing you ever. Girls are not play things nor are they toys for you to play with. I fucking hate guys...guys who are cowards in a way. Not knowing to say goodbye is one thing....leaving me to guess things is another. I should have given you that smack the other night tighter...so at least it'll leave a longer impact.

I used to say i heart........but my heart truly comes from my heart...and i don't think you deserves to be heart like that ever....nor by any other girls.....Yes i am fucking pissed now....but deep down at the corner of my heart...i know it'll take some time to forget you. YOU whom i once said to be the smartest guy i have ever known...so smart..so swit and so painfully hurting..YOU,heartbreaker...you'll never learn as much as i have taught you...neither will i.

I know despite all that i have written down here...deep down at the corner of my heart....i will heart you no matter what.....i will always treasure the moments you spent with me during my darkest hour........in a way, you're the BEST DAMNED THING that's happened to me in 2008. And i'm always here for you still........i bid you adieu......