hey all...ive decided that my life have come yet to another end and theres no further point in sharing much of it wit u guys....its all been a routine and cycle all along...it has all been part of dream and im hurt to say yet another chapter is over...needless to say im tired....i just wanna sleep for a long long time.....



Most of the time, often i would say, i think God hates me to a whole lot of extent. Thing is..i never tend to get what i desire or dream of. Even if i do get it someday, it'll be snatched away from me before i could even finish smiling and beam happily. I don get why. Maybe i am full of sins or grave mistakes i did in my past life? I dunno..it breaks my heart..it breaks me naturally of coz.

I envy tons of things to which my sisters life holds for them in the near future. One is getting engaged next month and the other is far from happy, attached and planning of marriage life. When my mum asks me when's my turn..i dunno how to answer. I have a boyfriend. That's true but still more than often, i lay in my bed at nite with tears flowing down my face. They say, when LOVE hurts, it won't work. =(

Haiz......i love my boyfriend with all my heart...but it always seems that i don get the same treatment back from him. It's a call and just an SMS today and i'll get one more the next few days. I NEVER get a call from him and i yearn for someone whom i can call my best friend and share my daily ups and downs with so badly. When PADDLES was around, he'd cheer me up with tons of his daily crap and crack me up instantly. I don have dat and it's a void in my life now. Where did i go wrong?? What did i do?? Or perhaps what do i lack??

For now LOVE is all i can afford to give and it does seem like i have given all..every part of me..but why does this still hurts alot? And why do i feel so alone despite having someone already? I don wan to slash my wrists anymore and pop those pills just to go to bed and forget my sorrows.....i have already stopped all that sometime ago....please don make me do all these shit again...i'm so tired of things.....i no longer reap what i sow.............

All i want is a best friend...........a friend whom i can talk to daily....i am just a normal girl..don forget that..i too need time, love and all that attention....despite the fact that i make people laugh and smile...i want to learnt how to laugh myself too....if i could, i'd sell my soul to the Devil for this exchange =(

*Dear God.....i seek your forgiveness should i have done any wrong doings or have done agreat deal of sin....please grant me happiness and tons of laughter...i don mind in exchange for poverty...i just want an easy peaceful life....and LOVE...*



Here's to update my mundane blog...

Salam AidilFitri..maaf zahir dan batin sekirenyer tersilap kater atau terkasar bahasa...
Bulan yang mulia ini, semoga semua dilupakan dan gembira lah kiter sesame..Minal aidil walfaizin..



Just did this.....hmm..whaddaya all think?? Seems to be an error somewhere in the html...but i can't seem to detect....



With so many pregnant mummies around me, i'm knitting this all over again...nice or not?? (Ring a bell Syarifah?? =D)




It's not that perfect as you all know, i self taught myself the knitting techniques by reading tons of books and going online to find the simplest patterns of all. My favourite site ever has got to be Knitting Pattern Central. It's brilliant coz it has got everything you need to know and if you do crochet, there are some good patterns for you to work on as well. Go visit the site if you have the time or should i say interest in crafts like me. My mum finds it strange that i have no absolute patience whatsoever when i step into the kitchen but when it comes to knitting, i can even undo the stitches should there be a huge gaping hole in the middle of a sweater i am knitting if that means 20 over inches from that hole done. Each to his own =)

The other day while my mum and i were joking around calling each other animal names (yupz..she calls me 'udang' and i call her 'sapi'..how crazy??) it was at that exact point in the midst of our conversation that i realised Malays are mostly lazy bums...no offence at the so called discovery i've made but here's why.

When Malays speaks, they tend to shortened most of the words or slang it and over time, it becomes a fixture to the word, a common thing.

Eg:
Suratkhabar - Instead of saying it properly, we all says it as "SOK-KHABAR". Haha..tak betol tu? Unlike in English, where even if we slang Newspaper or shortened it, it will still be called as "PAPERS" and thus, the word is still very much found in the dictionary. But "SOK-KHABAR"???

Kurang ajar - This is even worser.....i just realised that it becomes "KONG-NGAJAR" coming out of most peoples mouth! Gasp!! In English it'll mean rude but short can we shortened that word to?

So to end this crappy post, there's always campaigns promoting other languages like the "SPEAK MANDARIN" thingy...but hw can you start a new language and learn it when you can't even speak and master your very own Mother Tongue?? I find it funny...



why isit that when i already have someone, i still have no one?? =(



I MISS THIS SO SO MUCH....................................




*ps/ ICE CREAM THAT IS......... x(